INTRODUCTION
This is a grassroots discussion on mental illness. Why?
Because in many cases, the discussion is often reserved for those of the
medical profession. For the most part, everyone
must have letters behind their names or in front of their names. In this discussion, while several references
will be made to those with their respective letters, we are going to try to
have a plain discussion about mental illness and those whom we love.
The timeliness of this discussion is related to the most
recent incident of a pregnant mother, who allegedly drove into the ocean off of
Daytona Beach with her three children, reportedly, in an effort to kill them.[2] The jury is still out on this accusation, but
it still opens the door to incidents of this nature which are not as isolated
as the media accounts may suggest. Do we
have an abundance of proof? I grant you
that we don’t have an abundance of proof, and that there may be a reason that we
do not have that proof.
My guess as to why we
don’t have sufficient proof can be compared to the recent story of the young
Missouri All-American, Michael Sam,[3]
who reported to the national media, that he was coming out of the closet, or
that he was gay. The benefit to Michael
could be that it raised his stock on in the NFL draft. The other benefit to him may have been that
for personal reasons, he no longer has to worry about his past being thrown in
his face at an inopportune moment.
Whatever Mr. Sam’s reason, the benefit is not the same for those who
necessarily face mental illness. Very
few of those who suffer from mental illness can afford to come out and announce
to the world, “Hey, I have mental illness!”
Why?
We live in a society that is quick to judge, and is bias to
a sinful degree that causes many of our family members to remain quiet, as much
as possible, about their condition.
Thank God for confidentiality laws.
But, even with confidentiality laws, many of those who are victims of mental
illness have to eventually reveal to some small, but compromising degree, that
they are suffering from a case of mental illness. And to that end, much is on the line,
especially when it comes to employment.
What are the options for the mentally ill?
WHY THIS DISCUSSION?
In a lead up to this discussion, we mentioned Andrea Yates,[4]
Susan Smith,[5]
Miriam Carey,[6]
and most recently accused, Ebony Wilkerson.[7]
(In error, previously referred to as Ebony Williams. Please accept apologies
for the misspelling or misreference).
Each of these women could very easily be the poster child for mothers
with mental illness. But unfortunately,
mental illness is not a mother’s illness, nor a father’s illness. It is a disease that affects every family, at
every level of the economic spectrum. It
is a disease that affects all of us, regardless of race, creed or
nationality. And while it is not a fair
comparison to being gay, lesbian or transgendered, the consequences of
revealing oneself in these genre’s could be far more devastating.
This discussion needs to happen not just because of the
mothers who suffer from their various problems, but because of the fathers,
brothers, sisters, and other members of our society who sit in silence and
torment, trying to survive day to day, fighting for some level of decency. From the medications that many receive to the
counselling and treatment that exists only as much as insurance companies will
allow, or as much as governmental budgets will exist.
This discussion needs to occur with the intent of helping
not only our families, but many of the professionals whose jobs exist to the
extent, that should a police officer, a fireman, a doctor, or a military vet
needs to express their anquish, they will not be punished, or publicly humiliated
or embarrassed because they spoke up and spoke out, because they need help, not
to be ostracized.
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
Unfortunately, the mothers mentioned above need not be
distinguished or categorized to themselves.
Our country and our world have witnessed all too often men and women who
have taken out their frustration in schools, movie theatres, malls, work places
and too many other places to mention, perceivably because of mental health
treatment or possibly, the lack thereof.
How unfortunate (a phrase I may use too much in this piece), that those
who resorted to these alleged acts or threats of violence became the face of
mental health. Because for many of us,
the face of mental health is not those who go to these extremes to seek
help. While many of those who suffer
from mental illness required more assistance than their medical provider may
provide due to various limitations, they aren’t all prepared to go the extremes
that have become front page news. These
are the cases that have become the worst-case scenarios. These are the cases that have unfairly
tainted the issues relating to mental health as being in extreme need of
assistance. If anything, the kind of
acts that violence, or threats of violence, are radically extreme. For those who still need our help, they
can’t possibly be at this level, they
can’t allowed to be, nor believed to be, at the level of worst-case scenario.
TO WHAT DEGREE DO WE OPEN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS?
If this discussion ever leads to someone with mental illness
standing up and announcing their condition, what will be the next course of
action? For us? For them? Will we call
them courageous? Will we be as accepting
of them prior to their revealing their condition? Will we call them names behind their backs, or
make fun of them? Will we make the
familiar circular motion with our fingers to our heads (suggesting crazy,
loony, or not all there)? And how will
we go back to our daily routines? Will
we treat them the same as always, or will be sensitive about everything that we
say or do? And what about them, having
revealed their status? Will those, who
maybe our co-workers continue their treatments?
Will they continue to go to their counseling? Will they begin to change in how they respond
to us? To what degree does anything
changes?
In essence, nothing needs to change. I am going out on a limb here, and you may
want to consult a professional on this, but I believe that those who suffer
with mental illness, just want someone to understand what they go through. They don’t need to share everything; they
don’t need to share every day, or with everyone. They may only want to share with one special
person, not necessarily a medical professional, not necessarily counselor. The real issue is to what degree do we, as
family, as friends, or as a community, open up to those with mental illness who
are willing to stand before the world and declare their condition?
There is no real measuring stick, but there has to be a
better way of making it easier for those with mental illness able to reach out
as a whole. Granted, there are doctors,
psychiatrists, and other professionals who play a vital role in trying to help
those with mental illness. But their
reach is not as extensive or as far-reaching as the individuals that patients
interact with on a daily basis. What
doctors, psychiatrists and other medical professionals know can’t help those
who interact often with patients who are family, friends and co-workers. The confidentiality aspect protects our
loved-ones and friends as patients, as it should. But for those us who are not in the know, who
need to be in the know, on behalf of that loved-one or that friend, the
dynamics would otherwise seem to be counter-productive.
LET’S BE TOTALLY CLEAR
Not all of the mentally ill are subject to act such as the
mothers referenced here are accused.
That reference is extreme, and is not intended to suggest that those who
suffer from mental illness may remotely resort to the instances that inspire
this piece. As a matter of fact, it
maybe this kind of piece that causes those with mental illness to not come
forth. And if it is that kind of piece,
let me the first to apologize if anyone is offended. But whether or not this piece gives the wrong
impression, it is perhaps an opportunity for those who suffer from mental
illness, as well as their families, to set the record straight. Maybe, it’s time to come forth. Put the world on notice, that whatever your
condition, you are coming out! That
whatever your condition, you are going to be brave, and that you are going to
fight this thing, with or without the community’s support. Because if nothing else, we have to believe
that if no one else supports our mentally ill, it is their families who stand
by them, and stand with them to overcome many of the challenges that many of us
take for granted.
DON’T’T CALL THE POLICE, CALL FOR HELP
In Louisiana, the signal code for Law Enforcement officers is
103M (Mental Patient)- For many police
officers it is a signal that suggests that there is a disturbance in the
community, and it involves a possible mentally ill patient. It is an unenviable position that our law enforcement
officers are all too often placed in when responding, and for those who are the
subject of such calls, help is not coming- the police are. What is the difference? From a grassroots perspective, for the
patient, men and women who are responding are coming with handcuffs, tasers,
guns, maybe a stick of some kind.
Whoever is coming, they are not coming to discuss, persuade or put the
patient back to bed. Their power, and
particularly their training, as police officers dictates that they take a
tactical approach to bringing things under control. Theoretically, that is great, but for the
patient, it suggests that the deck is already stacked against them. Police officers are as much a contributing
factor to an escalation of behavior by patients as a deterrent or encouragement
for a patient to be compliant. How so?
Police officers training, by and large, is pretty
straight-forward. When they arrive—Scratch
that! When they are called to a scene of
a disturbance, it should already be understood that our Police Officers’ presence
is not to babysit, nor hold the hand of a patient who refuses to take their
meds, or who refuses to get back inside and stop screaming at the moon. Police officers’ response is typically five-fold:
- Show your hands
- Stand against the wall
- Turn around and put your hands behind you
- “Do you have anything on you that could harm me?”
- “The suspect refused to comply, so we shot him!”
To our men and women of our various law enforcement
agencies, if you are offended by this characterization, you should be. If you are responding to mentally ill
patients who, unless armed, or threatening to harm someone, is not complying
with a family member, your presence becomes an antagonistic problem for the
mentally ill. It is almost a foregone
conclusion that if a police officer responds to a mentally ill patient out of
control, the training that police officers receive prepares them more to shoot
a patient rather than try to capture or at worst-case scenario, incapacitate
them to the point where they no longer pose a threat or harm to themselves or
their family members. How? The net used
to be used to apprehend a mentally ill patient.
And what about hypo-dermic needles?
We used them on bears and return them to the wild. We capture alligators and bring them to
sanctuaries. But call the police and the
ultimate response could be that someone is going to die. That is not help, and that is not resolving
the problem. If those who are mentally
ill, who have no intention of killing themselves or anyone else, find
themselves dead, then help did not come.
The police did.
The police need to be taken out of the equation. We are doing the same thing with respect to
mental illness and expecting a different result. Taking the police out of the equation with
respect to those who are mentally ill forces us to look at what we can do
better. But, let us not just take the
police out of the equation and then shuffle the problem over to the firemen or
even EMS. The call for help should be a
call for help, and our family members in need should feel that whomever
responds is going to come in and help their family member transition, if
necessary, within the home, or from the home to a treatment facility. Our families need to feel as though help is
coming, not an execution squad, in the form of police officers.
GOING FORWARD
As always, the intent is to seek a solution to how we
address and improve the circumstances and conditions not only for our family
member suffering from mental illness, but also, and this is key, for our
families who live with and provide invaluable care. Unfortunately, as we speak, budgets are cut
by governmental forces, insurance coverage is limited and shrinking, and the
costs to families, not only financially, but emotionally, are in many cases,
overwhelming. The need for families
themselves to receive support in their effort to be the cheerleaders and in the
corners for their loved ones is an on-going challenge. Going forward, the cure may lie in what those
who suffer from mental illness are able to do, or are willing to do, with their
medical professional’s advice. Going
forward, if it is possible, and beneficial, those who suffer from mental
illness, may need an opportunity to express or share their condition with the
greater community. As fewer dollars are
committed to their treatment and medication, or housing, then those who suffer,
should have an opportunity to take their condition to a greater level, to the
streets, if you will. For those who
suffer not only from their disease of mental illness, but also from the
economic shortfall that will eventually force them to seek other alternatives,
allow one of those alternatives to be to speak out, to be heard, and to be known
by their condition(s), so that we can see them for how courageous they are, and
what they are going through. And,
wherever possible, we must be willing to provide them with the kind of love and
support deserving of anyone who suffers from a condition that they did not
choose for themselves. This is that time
for those among us who suffer from mental illness to come out and be
heard. This is that time for us, as
family and community, to show those who face a need for mental health
assistance, empathy, not sympathy, and above all else, love and happiness.
Disclaimer: No information here should be considered
medical or legal advice. If you or
someone you know need medical assistance, or have an medical emergency, call
your medical provider or 911. Information
provided here is deemed to be from reliable sources, but not guaranteed.
