It is not an original question, but for each of us, it should
be an original answer. We are the way that we are for a reason. The reason?
Well, that’s why this discussion.
There are so many components to this question that the more I thought
about it, I had to realize why so many people may have trouble answering
it.
First of all, why the question to begin with? Many businesses and employers ask this
question in varying ways. They may ask
us to tell them something about ourselves.
Or, they may ask us to give them an idea of what will we do to make their
businesses successful. For us, the
answer, whatever it maybe, should suggest that we aren’t bringing baggage. The kind of baggage that will affect their
businesses. Such as an arrest record, or
having participated in an activity, or having affiliated with a group that may
seem to have (on the surface) engaged in an activity that might otherwise
embarrass them.
Chances are, the person who is asking this question has
something to be the most concerned about.
The fact that they are asking this question, may mean that they are close
to making an important decision. It
could mean that we are in line for a position next to the proverbial throne,
unless----
Unless, we have too much drama in our lives. The kind of drama that for many businesses
will bring them too much attention, or cause them to have to defend their
decisions. Unless, that seemingly,
insignificant act in high school, on a previous job, or something that we posted on line, maybe just one thing that they, as a business, may not want to
deal with. It’s not their
responsibility, and they don’t want the baggage that we bring to the table.
Determining what we bring to the table may best be answered
by five simple components. Those
components, as best I can go about it, is to put it into some type of a
multi-faceted, simple approach:
Who? What? When? Why? How?
Obviously, we don’t answer a question with a question. But given the complexity of the original
question, it may help us to have an understanding about the source of a
question that asks us from a general perspective, what is it about us that
makes us the best qualified for anything.
Anything? Well, almost anything. As unrealistic as that possibility maybe, it
is just as unrealistic to believe that we are not good for anything
either. So, why not choose the best of
the two extremes?
Using the simple approach we suggested above as a guide,
let’s put together a few questions to help us understand the topic question:
- Who are you? Who is asking the question?
- Who really cares about what you bring to the table?
- What is it that you actually bring to table? What is the value of what you bring to the table?
- When should you make it known what it is that you have of value? When should you withhold what it is that you have, that could make a difference in your life or the lives of others?
- Why is it so important to others that you bring anything of value to the table? Why is it that others seem to put so much of value on what you bring to the table?
- How do you develop that which makes you so important to others? How do you protect what you have to either maintain it, or even to make it more valuable?
These are just a few dry-run questions for us to ponder
going forward. We may want to provide
our own questions to help ourselves depending on whom we meet or the
circumstances before us. Whether we will
discover the answers in this setting is a matter of further investigation, particularly
of ourselves. The topic question is too
important to trust to this discussion, but if nothing else, we need to agree on
some type of format that may help us discover not just for the short run, but
for the long term, what it is we bring to the table.
When does it start for
us to prepare for “the table”?
Most often, we are prepared throughout our lives for jobs or
careers. While I have nothing to support
this claim, I have to believe that from as early as when we begin walking, and
our various personalities begin to form, we are being prepared for “the table”.
Our parents and families were already beginning to pigeon-hole or typecast us. They were
already imagining the best for us. I for
example, watch our grandson, Josh, Jr. We
are already placing him as a fireman because he loves fire trucks. He has a fleet of toy fire trucks, and fire stations. We even bought him a simulated hose nozzle so that he could “put out fires” (actually, he is watering the flowers in the front yard,
but that is neither here nor there). We
have already advised him not to play with matches or fire and that he should
call for help under any circumstances.
Then, little Josh developed a love for building with his
blocks. With his building blocks build some very imaginative and impressive little designs. Now,
in our minds, he is going to be an architect, or an engineer. This is what we do as parents, we imagine the
best for our children, if for no other reason, the personalities that appear to
give us a snapshot into who our children are, and quite possibly, whom they may
become.
If our type-casting of our children is not a sure-thing,
then society tries to take over and script for us and our children the
direction that it wants our children to go.
For little boys, generally speaking, they should “want” to play sports
(basketball, football, or baseball). For
little girls, generally speaking, they should “want” to go to dance school,
play with dolls, or prepare for motherhood by practicing with baby dolls. At least I think that’s what society is still
doing. I could be wrong.
But even if society is allowing our children to grow up to
become who they really want to be, through their formative years between
toddler and teen years, we can’t let our children go without preparing them for
the world ahead. It is up to us, not
only as parents, but as family and friends, and as communities, to make sure that our
children, like Josh, Jr. grow up to be successful in whatever their little
dreams inspire them to achieve. Even if
their dreams continue well into adulthood, like us, for example. The perspective never really changes.
Whether as children, or as adults, we never stop
dreaming. It’s just a question as to
what degree do we gradually slow our roll, if you will, from not only pursuing
our dreams, but believing that it was only just that- just a dream. The moment we begin to cease and desist in
the pursuit of our dreams, I believe that we begin to doubt ourselves, or doubt
that we will ever achieve what, at one time, we believed was ours to have. But I also believe that many of us are
waiting for any semblance of an opportunity to pursue that once elusive dream.
But what ‘I believe’ is immaterial. What is
material is the fact that for those of us who resolve to put our dreams on
hold, we still need to believe that the ultimate track that we find ourselves
on, will one day take us to where want to be.
How true that maybe is up to each one of us, but we have to conclude
that where we are right now, right here and now, is not where we were shooting
for as far back as the little kids at 4 or 5 years of age, any more than when we
were at 14 or 15 years of age. And, if we
are past the 24 or 25 years of age, well that dream is beginning to fade
because society tries to convince us that if we haven’t hit it big by the time
we leave college (assuming we go to college), then our dreams, however big, or
ambitious, will have to take a back seat to jobs, family, or whatever things
that life has thrown us. I am here to
share with you that I don’t believe that our dreams ever have to take a
backseat.
Video: What Do You Bring to the Table-Charlotte Stallings:
Hold On To Your
Dreams!
Our dreams are just that: our dreams. The misconception that we should let our
dreams die off the moment we reach a certain age, or an unplanned stage in our
lives is ridiculous! We must all realize
that our dreams will not be categorized, or short-change by some arbitrary
decisions of society. Our dreams are our dreams. I don’t believe that our dreams need to
materialize to their fullest the day we hit 18, 28, or 58. Pursuing our dreams should be non-stop. Which is why in the pursuit of our dreams, we
have to understand what people are looking for when they ask the question: “What do you bring to the table?” What is the relevance of the question? Simple:
they want to know where we are in our lives.
Employers, God bless them, want to know if we are going to
be around for a short period of time until we hit the big time, or if we are
going to stay around for awhile. Communities want to know if we are going to
give back to them where we once grew up, or are we going to hit the road as soon
as we complete high school. And of
course schools and colleges, they want to know if we have aspirations to achieve
great things, that is to say, are we going to be an asset to their program.
Everyone wants to know, what do you bring to the table.
And for many of us, our answers often are tailored to what we believe
people want to hear to questions that we believe we were asked. For example:
- Did we hear: “What exactly did you do to increase the bottom line of your last employer?”
- Did we hear: “How much money did you save your last employer?”
- Did we hear: “What was your grade point average in high school?”
- Did we hear: “Were you ever expelled from school?”
- Did we hear: “Were you ever fired?”
- Did we hear: “Do you get along well with others?”
- Did we hear: “Did you hold any positions of leadership in school or on your last job?” Or,
- Did we hear: “What are you prepared to do to improve the productivity of our company?”
Video: Tony Robbins-Are You Sabotaging Yourself?
If what we think we
hear causes us to answer the topic question in a manner that does nothing for
us after we have answered the question, then, we have only given the answer
that we hoped the inquirer was asking.
It is important that we hear the question that we are asked. And, like it or not, we must answer the
question honestly. We must give an
answer that does not compromise what we are truly interested in achieving, even
at the risk of loosing out on what it is right at our very feet.
Often we answer these questions improperly because we are so fixated on answering the way we
believe others want us to respond. We
are conditioned, I believe improperly, to say what employers, school
counselors, communities, and the like want to hear. And when it comes time to produce according
to how we have improperly sold ourselves, we come out on the loosing end. Our credibility comes under question, and any
possibility of a future is shattered because, we sold ourselves, and well as those
whom we tried to impress, a bill of goods.
For all we could have done, we might as well just muddle through a few words
and then, end with a “Miss Congeniality” [1] response:
“And World Peace!”
The answers that people are looking for, regardless of who
asks, is an answer that is supposed to bowl them over, and all but force them
to hire us, sign us up, or take us under their wing. And if we answer correctly, for them, and for
us, we are hoping that someone does just that.
We want someone to sign us up,
to hire us, or take us under their wing.
Why? Because, we said all that they
wanted to hear. Correct me, if I am
wrong.
Video: Les Brown: Why Do People Fail in Life:
What if we say
something that they don’t want to hear?
I am going to out on a limb here, and you can catch me if I
fall, but, I don’t think it really matters what we say. I don’t think it matters what we say as much
as it matters what we do, or what we have done in our lives. I believe that what we do will have a greater
impact on where we go in our lives that what we will ever say. You know the quote: Action speaks louder than words. [2]Well,
our actions dictate our success, that’s what I believe and here is why.
Below are seven things that I believe people are judging
when they meet us:
Eye contact-an action
Smile-an action
Handshake or a wave of the hand-an action
Greeting-an action
How we walk into a room-an action
How others react to us-an action.
“Hello!” Even if we speak to someone, it matters whether the greeting is exciting, or inviting, or if we give an air of not wanting to be where we are, particularly with that person. All of these are actions that people are automatically cataloguing mentally from the time they meet us, to the time we leave their presence. Why is this important?
It is important because our actions define our
responses. Above, the questions that we
introduced are important to answer truthfully.
But how will someone know if we are answering truthfully? Our body language. Our body language tells those who asks us
questions that we either are lying, or telling the truth. I don’t have time to go into it, but I will
include a link below for you to read. [3]
If for example, from one of the questions
above is: “Do you get along well with others?” Your response maybe “yes”,
but your body may have subconsciously shifted at the question, or during the
answer. If, for example, another
question is: “What will the people say about you that you used to work with or went to school with?” Your answer maybe that you got along
well with everyone, but you dropped your eyes as you answered, another
action. Actions are the real truth
teller when someone is trying to determine what it is you bring to the
table. So now, let’s bring this home.
“What Do You Bring to
the Table?”
Whenever someone asks us this question, they are looking for
action. They are looking for something
that we did in furtherance of our own dreams.
They may never say that, and perhaps, they don’t want to put us on the
spot, but employers would like to know that the person they are looking to hire
has ambition. They would like to know
that we are working on building a castle out of ice cream sticks in our attic, and
that we had to start our project over 3 times.
To them, it shows commitment.
Our community would like to know that we are going to school
to further our education so that we can become a micro-biologist. That shows we
have a mind for facts and technical information. Or, maybe we should share the fact that we and
several friends organized a fund-raiser to help the community to send a group of
kids on a trip cross-country. This may show
our ability to work well with others, our community spirit, or our willingness to
share with others. Is this what people
are looking for? Maybe not, but if we
don’t share with others our goals, our dreams, and what it is we we have done or are trying to do with our lives, they will always see us as one of those people who
can’t think for themselves, or who only says what they believe other people
want to hear.
We don’t have to give our personal life’s story to everybody,
but we do owe it to ourselves to share our dreams. We owe it to ourselves to share the fact that
we are on our way to accomplishing something great, and that if an employer
would like to be counted along the way, they are welcomed. We shouldn’t mind sharing our dreams with
those who are interested in knowing what we bring to the table. In sharing our dreams, we send a strong
message to those who ask, “what we bring to the table?”
What do we bring?
When we share our dreams in response to the topic question,
we change the dynamics of the interview.
We send a message that we maybe willing to compromise to a small degree, but that
our dreams are not for sale, or that they are not to be put on the
back burner.
What we bring is confidence in
knowing that in the long run, we have goals to set and plans to follow. When we share our dreams, we bring
enthusiasm, that many will benefit from, because we have set our sights on some
great things, and anyone who is close to us will no doubt, get caught up in the
“rapture” of our ambitions.
What we bring is our educational achievements. Yes, there maybe a few C’s and D’s, but we
worked hard for those grades, and we’ll take them in stride for where we are
going in our lives.
What we bring is power and influence wherever needed to make life
simpler and better for those in need. We
bring our wealth, however slight, to pay our way forward for our families and
community.
What we bring is respect for ourselves, and for those who respect us
and others. But we also bring a
willingness to stand up when those whom we love are threatened with great bodily harm.
We bring a limited amount of knowledge, but a willingness to
learn so much more, because we can’t learn enough about what life has to offer,
and what we can take advantage of.
We bring a heart-felt desire to make sure that our families
are always safe and well cared for.
We bring developing skills, skills that have yet to be fully
honed, because our environment is constantly changing, and no matter what, we
will always be opened to learning new challenges.
We bring humility, knowing that we don’t know everything,
and that we are going to make mistakes at along the way. We bring the will to say “I’m sorry” whenever
we hurt someone or cause someone great pain.
Last, but not least, we bring a sense of humor, because life
is too short to take totally serious. And with
that sense of humor, we smile at a sunrise or a sunset, we smile when we see
the people that we love happy, and we laugh at ourselves because sometimes, we
crack ourselves up.
Speaking a foreign
language?
Our past actions, together with our future goals, dreams and
intentions are the measure of what we bring to the table. All together, it is a culmination of our
commitment to what we want to achieve in our lives. Unfortunately, everyone does not want to hear
what our dreams are. And therein becomes
a problem for many of us. We worry that
because of what we want to accomplish in our lives, that because it’s not what
others want to hear, we begin to speak a foreign language. That language is foreign because we are not
speaking the language of our dreams, or our goals. We begin speaking the language that we believe
others want to hear, and before long, we acclimate not only our language to
that of others, but our dreams as well.
Eventually, if we are not careful, we will abandon our own dreams. And when we abandon our own dreams, we find
ourselves saying what we believe others want to hear. Suggestion:
Speak the language of our dreams.
No, most people aren’t going to want hear what we have to
say. But if we speak to what it is we
want to see in our lives with enthusiasm, excitement and commitment, there is no
doubt in my mind, that what we bring to the table will not be disregarded, nor
overlooked. By our actions and
commitment to achieving our dreams, we will not have to answer the question
“What do you bring to the table,” it will be all too clear. And if they ask what we bring to the table,
it is a great opportunity to exercise our language of ambition and enthusiasm,
together with our belief in all that we want to accomplish. So, let us speak loud and proud about our
dreams, because they asked. Otherwise, let
our actions speak louder than words because we are committed to our dreams.
Now: What do your
bring to the table?
[1] Miss
Congeniality and “World Peace!”-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3st-Hai1y54
[2] http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Actions+speak+louder+than+words
[3] Body
language-http://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com/
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