I HOPE YOU FAIL, AGAIN! (C) 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

A Final Message to The Graduating Class of 2014

Rush Limbaugh: "I Hope He Fails!": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuYjWbAU2eU [1]

 As each of you prepare for the many great challenges that life will present to you, there is no doubt in my mind, that there are hundreds of people wishing you well, and for the moment, so am I.  There are people, many of whom you may not know, hoping that you achieve the very best that life has to offer.  But despite that, there is always someone who stands in the corner, kicking rocks, disgruntled at best, that you accomplished something, however great, however slight, and that regardless of what great things await you, that person, in the deepest recesses of their heart, hopes ------you------ fail!

Let, let’s just pause for a minute.  Here you are, poised to achieve one of the greatest accomplishments in your life, and someone hopes that you fail to accomplish anything further.  What is more disturbing is that this person, is someone whom you may admire, idolize, or at the very least, respect them for what they have accomplished in their lives.  So why would they, in their infinite wisdom, hope you fail?

In my message to the graduating class of 2013,[2]  I focused on the historical precedent of America’s methodology of turning its nose on those who rose up in history to achieve their rights.  I talked about how America won her freedom from Great Britain ( I hope you fail); I spoke about how America fought against abolishing slavery (I hope you fail), and I spoke about  women fighting for the right to vote (I hope you fail).  But today, I want to speak to you not about just the past, where “I hope you fail” was all but the norm in America’s growth, but about the future of America, the future of the World, and of course, your role, as graduates of the Class of 2014.  I want to prepare you for your exposure, and the potential that you will be told more times than you will be able to count:  “I hope you fail!”

From today forward, you need to be very prepared for some very significant challenges ahead.  There are things that you will see and be a part of that will force you to stop,  right in your tracks.  You will be going on about your business, not worried about a thing in the world, and suddenly, you will find yourself face to face with a set of circumstances that will call into play, your reason for being a graduate of the class of 2014.  That set of circumstances will perhaps force you to take a stand for the betterment of your families, your communities, your state, your country, if not the world at large.  How you will approach these circumstances will be a matter of your own decision.  But in the end, you will be making a decision to go forward.  You will encounter adversity, obstructionists, naysayers, controversy, even discontent.  You may experience one, if not all of these circumstances from family and friends.   And you may experience this kind of pushback from political leaders, and community leaders.  But because those circumstances could be placed at your feet, or dumped into your lap, you will be able to call on your education, your parental upbringing, your life experiences, and all that is within you, to take on the challenge of the circumstances that will virtually have your name written aaaaallllll over it. 

What all of this potentially means to each of you, as you prepare for the future, is that you will encounter people from all walks of life, who, with their own agendas, with their own sense of power, who will not be able to sign off on what it is you will want to set right.  Your commitment to something greater than yourself, however noble, and seemingly beneficial, will encounter every brick wall, every roadblock, every broken damn there is, and on top of that, you may encounter any of these challenges from someone whom you would least expect the proverbiality of: “ I hope you fail.”

Nothing could be more crushing, than to hear from someone, whomever it maybe, whether you admire them, know them personally, or have a passing knowledge of them, that their position of authority, of leadership, assumes so much power, that even when something is for the good of all, that those in power work to ensure that it fails.   You should never have to fear the wrath of power that hopes you fail in your mission for success.

Recently, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R), has come under fire with respect to an alleged bridge closure between New Jersey and New York, that impacted thousands of commuters for several days. Allegedly, as an attempt at retaliation against a political foe for not supporting him in his re-election for governor of New Jersey in 2013.[3]   Governor Christie’s actions, if found to be true, suggests that Governor Christie’s administration wanted one of his opponents to fail.  And to that end, if true, the chaos that ensued over the George Washington Bridge [4], indicates how those in power are able to use their power to retaliate, to stand in the way, or to prevent others from achieving success.  Granted this is still under investigation.  The jury is still out on this investigation, but if true, it would be indicative of what those in power can do to affect the lives of others, even those who are innocent bystanders.   

Power is the key word here.  And if this looks like a Republican-bashing opportunity, it isn’t.  It is about power.  It would be easy to make this about the Republicans, and take us off message, but it is about power, and when someone achieves a phenomenal amount of power, regardless of who it is, even if it President Barack Obama,[5] or former First Lady, and former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton,[6] the power that envelopes anyone that gives them the confidence to thumb their noses at others who are in contention, is power that is tainted, and confidence that is being abusive.

This is to say that, conversely, as graduates of the Class of 2014, many of you will assume roles of extreme power.  You will be called on to make decisions that will affect thousands of lives in your communities, your state, the nation and the world.  Your power must not be the measure of your integrity.  But your integrity must be measure of your power.  At no point in time, in the future, whether you are working to make a change in the lives of thousands, the lives of hundreds, or just a few people, those whom you represent must never feel that your power gives you the audacity to hope that they fail.  At no time in the future, should you feel so compelled, or so confident in your abilities, that you wish someone else to fall on their faces, so much so, that your confidence makes you forget how you reached your own ultimate goals.  For in so doing, your legacy becomes a house of sticks, falling to the ground, into a pile of rubble.

As I concluded in 2013, I will conclude now, here in 2014.  “I do hope that you fail.”  My hopes for your failure, is an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive.  Without a doubt, Rush Limbaugh,[7] Radio Talk Show extraordinaire, apparently had every intension of seeing President Obama fail.   It was a negative comment, in my opinion, made to any President of the United States of America.  But, here I come, hoping that you fail, too.  But I want to make it a positive thing.  By hoping that you each fail, I want each of you to take this opportunity to remember, that failure will be a natural part of everything that you do.  Each failure will be a measure of how far you are willing to go, and how committed you are to achieving your dreams.  But more specifically, here is how I hope you will fail:

1. I hope that you will fail to give into the difficulties that surround your pursuits;
2. I hope that you will fail to listen to those who tell you with certainty, that you can’t achieve your goals or dreams;
3. And, as you achieve your dreams of success, I hope that you will  fail to be self-centered, conceded, condescending, or over confident, thereby forgetting all those who have helped you achieve your greatness;
4. I hope that you will  fail to adopt the level of confidence that allows you to wish the worst on others, just so that  they can’t compete with you on a level playing field; Last but not least,
5. I hope that you will  fail to ever believe that you are so powerful, so good at what you do, that you can never be taken down by life’s greatest equalizer:  Karma[8]

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.            Wayne Dyer [9]

To the Graduating Class of 2014, please accept my fondest wishes that you succeed in all that you do, and that regardless of your challenges, that you not allow someone to discourage you from your dreams, and that upon achieving your dreams, that you remain humble, grateful, and appreciative for all of the great things that life brings your way.   Best wishes to you, the Graduating Class of 2014.

 

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[1] "I Hope He Fails", Rush Limbaugh recording on Youtube.com- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuYjWbAU2eU

[2] I Hope You Fail © 2013, Wayne Lewis a Message to the Graduating Class of 2013: http://thecovetedcommandment.blogspot.com/2013/05/i-hope-you-fail1-2013-by-wayne-dan.html

[3] Governor Chris Christie’s “Bridgegate”: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/21/bridgegate-legal-fees_n_5186540.html

[4] George Washington Bridge Scandal- http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Timeline-George-Washington-Bridge-Scandal-Chris-Christie-Fort-Lee-Bridgegate-239431091.html

[5] President Barack Obama-  http://www.history.com/topics/us-presidents/barack-obama

[6] Hillary Rodham Clinton-  http://www.forbes.com/profile/hillary-clinton/

[7] Rush Limbaugh- http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/  (Not an endorsement)

[8] Karma- http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/karma

[9] Wayne Dyer on Karma- http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/waynedyer382838.html

THE SHAMELESS PURSUIT OF THE LEVELED PLAYING FIELD (C) 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

The quest for a leveled-playing field is fruitless, especially once we are born.  Many of us, should be shamed to ask that the playing field in our various pursuits be equaled out.  The equality begins and ends the moment we are born, and after that, everyone's playing field is adjusted, for cause(s).   What cause(s)? Let's keep it real and conclude that nature herself is the biggest orchestrator of the unleveled playing field in our lives:  Here are some ways our playing fields are unleveled:   skin color, hair color, hair length, eye color.  The causes are beauty, and attractiveness, too tall or too short.  The causes are sickness or health; The causes of income; wealth; which side of the tracks we were born on, or what side of the family we come from.  There is always a cause for an unleveled playing field in our lives.  And as much as we would like for the playing field to be leveled, or hope for an equal shot at life, we know that from birth, we need to be in the ready-set-go mode before that proverbial starter-pistol (called birth) has been fired.  After that, life has a way of taking the unleveled playing field that so many of us may face day in and day out, and turn it totally upside down.

Many of us are handicapped for so many of the causes we mentioned above, that by the time we realize we are in a race for greatness, we are hoping that someone will give us a chance to catch up.  Keeping it real:  it aint gon’ happen.  Who knows that if Mario Andretti,  Race Car Champion, ever slowed his car down to let the others catch up on the Indianapolis Speedway, or in the NASCAR races?  Who knows that if Muhammed Ali (Professional Boxer) threw a few less punches for his opponents Sonny Liston, Joe Frazier, or George Foreman,  just so he could not become the Heavyweight Champion of the World?  Who knows if Lebron James, Basketball great,  pulled back a few shots of basketball just so the other team could catch up?  Or, who knows if Venus and Serena Williams (Tennis Champions) allowed a few good balls to get past them just so someone could catch up with them at Wimbledon?  Exactly!

The point is, from this point on in our lives, we need an unleveled playing field for those of us who aspire to be great at who we want to be.  We want the challenge of an unleveled-playing field.  We want our field to be wet and sloppy like the racetracks at Louisville’s Kentucky Derby; we want our field to have as many sand dunes like an 18-hole golf course, or whatever difficult surfaces it can be, so that we can take on life’s worst challenges, and then, when it is all said and done, we come out on top.  And the field that we would have played on,  it did not define us, it did not make us.  We defined ourselves.

Keeping it real, we have to convince ourselves that the unleveled playing field that so many of us perceive in our lives, is the greatest opportunity to overcome something that tests our ability to overcome adversities.  The greater the unlevel playing field in our lives, the greater we have the opportunity to be who we want to be.  So, each and everyday, we want to assess the playing field that is ours to run, ours to walk, ours to climb, or ours to knock down.  For everyone of us, every unleveled playing field is not a measure of inequality, but a testament to our greatness, for us to overcome the trials and tribulations that life has put before us. 

If we  continue using as an excuse, the unleveled playing field, as the reason for us not to get started on who we will eventually become, the fighting chance that we so often seek, becomes the crutch that we use to stand down, to wait on, or to hope for something great to happen in our lives.  Today, our unleveled playing field awaits us.  Or, we can sit around, and wait for someone else to level the playing field to make it easier for us.  Or worse yet, allow someone else to take on our unleveled playing field.  The choice is ours.

Disclaimer: Information provided here is deemed to be from reliable sources and not guaranteed.  No information provided here should be considered as legal or professional advice.

The Shameless Pursuit of the Leveled Playing Field © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

The Coveted Commandment: Thou Shalt Build Wealth © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

The Coveted Commandment: I Get All Choked Up! (c) 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

 

 A Message to the Parents of the Graduating Class of 2014

1.       It was without warning, there I was, at our son’s reception, when the tears began to flow. They were my tears. Our daughter-in-law, Monica, had asked several of us to speak at a wonderful reception that she had secretly planned for Wayne, Jr.  We were a few of the family and friends that had arrived outside of Raleigh, NC, as well-wishers.  Many of those who were gathered were friends that they had met since moving to Raleigh, post-Hurricane Katrina. Included too, was one of his old school mates from St. Aug, Keith, his wife and his two adorable twins.   The reception was simply beautiful, and we were just as proud as parents could be.

2.        So when it came to my time to speak, I had hardly began to congratulate our son for his achievement before I became overwhelmed, and almost without containment, began to cry. I shed those tears, and was embarrassed, but still I wanted our son to know of just how proud we were him.  I continued to speak, and apologizing to him and Monica as well as the others for not being more composed.

3.       Win in a few minutes I managed to speak coherently to the group, as I composed myself.  All I can recall saying was how proud we were to have a son who had achieved so great an accomplishment.  I also remember pointing out the irony of this once raggedy kid from a small town called Patterson (Louisiana), who was now the proud father of a very special young man, who had worked tirelessly to achieve a goal that I, for one, had only dreamed of achieving.

Despite the embarrassment of that moment, I would not change one thing.

 

4.       I Cry Easily[1]

5.       Recently, I called on a client to remind her that her house was about to expire as a listing. We talked a few moments before she told me some very exciting news.  She said, “ Mr. Lewis,  he is graduating!   I said who?   She said,  “My son, (Confidential name), is graduating from high school!” 

6.       I automatically congratulated her until I realized two things.  She was sharing with me some very personal news, and she was sharing this news with me at a certain level of triumph.  This client had purchased several homes with me, so I knew of some of the things that she had gone through as a single mother.  It had been eight years, and through those times, I knew of the challenges she had in raising her three children.  She had two boys and a girl.  The girl and the younger boy were closer in age and were under five when I first met them.  The older boy was about ten or nine years of age at the time, and for her, he was a challenge, quite a challenge for this single mother.

7.       So, when she told me about her son graduating, it wasn’t to share this information as she may have done with just any other person, she had told me because I was one of the sounding boards she had used during the past eight years as I had worked with her as her agent.  Once I figured out the relevance, I realized that she had done something that she had done before, extended to me the courtesy of considering me a small part of her family.  As I thought about the fact that her son would be walking across the stage, after all that she had done to keep him on track, I felt very proud for her.  She had taken me into her confidence, and I knew that what she was sharing with me was a very personal joy and triumph.  For her, it was the ultimate release of frustration that had been the better part of raising not only three children, but ensuring that the first one was the example for the remaining two.  I felt her joy, and I felt her pride, and then I thought about our own son and daughter.  I began to feel an emotion for her, as I knew she was filled with an anticipation yet to come. 

8.       When I arrived home, I told my wife about the call.  As I told her, I know she could see the tears in my eyes as well.

 

9.       Shedding Tears

10.   As graduation comes up, I am not sure how other parents will react to their sons and daughters graduating from high school or college.  It may be a rather joyous celebration, with parties, or maybe go out to dinner.  It may result in the family just going back home, and doing nothing more than having a celebratory dinner with close family and friends.

11.    I don’t know if parents even cry any more at their children’s achievements.  I remember crying when our daughter was born.  It was a wonderful moment when our baby girl (Jaymee) came into this world, hollering and screaming.   And she is still hollering and screaming to this day.  (Just kidding, she is beautiful young lady and we are so proud of her).

12.   So crying, it’s not something that mothers just do.  As a father, I have cried, shed tears, and while society has done its darndest to make sure that men don’t show their emotions, my situation is the exception rather than the rule.  I have lost count of the number of times that tears have come to my eyes when I would hear my son play his saxophone at school, or at church.  I have lost count of the many times I would see my daughter in a play or marching with her one flag in the parades and would have a tear come into the corner of my eyes.

13.   I have shed tears of joy and pride because God has blessed us with two of the greatest kids possible.  We are so proud of Bud (Wayne, Jr) and our Baby Girl (Jaymee).  And now, those tears will come even more so as we watch our grandson grow into his own.  He is a very special little fellow.  He is our Doo.

 

14.   Dab My Eyes

15.   Maybe, I am overreacting.  Maybe when I shedded a tear for our son and daughter at times I was being too sensitive.  Maybe all of the times that their mother and I worked so hard to make sure they became successful young people was nothing short of what was expected of us.  And for me, as the man of the house, to express an emotion of shedding a tear is far beyond the pale of not only parenthood, but manhood.  I am guilty of dabbing my eyes for our son and our daughter, and now for our little grandson.  I will be dabbing my eyes for quite some time to come.

 

16.   As They walk across the Stage

17.   As each of our kids walk across the graduation stage, a tremendous number of emotions will go through us.  Crying may not be one of those emotions.  Many parents may just be glad that their son or daughter received their respective diploma or degree.  Parents will be genuinely happy, and not one tear, or the absence thereof, will indicate a lack of emotion.   It’s possible that some parents may experience a level of shock.  Why?  Because they may have never thought that the day would ever come when their son or daughter would walk across a stage and receive a degree, let alone a diploma.  Some of you parents have had some hard times, for sure.  Perhaps like my client whom I mentioned earlier.  Like my client earlier, there just maybe one big sigh of relief, because she was able to bring up her son through the gauntlet that comes not only raising kids in our various communities, but a young male of color.  It was a tough job, but as the parent that she is, and the parents that many of you are, she did it.

 

18.   Makes it More Worthwhile

19.   I hope that your son or daughter takes the time to thank you for helping them achieve so great a milestone in their lives.  I hope that your son or daughter will realize that what you did was not because the law required it of you, but that because you loved them so much, that you didn’t want to ever give up on them.  I hope your son or daughter realizes how difficult it will be to step away from being the person who was there to fix their breakfast every morning,  give them their lunch money, or fix their supper.  I hope that they realize that as they step off further into adult hood, that it won’t be easy for you as a parent to wonder if you left out something in preparing them for the world ahead.  Why, because that’s what parents do.

20.   I hope that our kids realize, that sometimes, however proud we are of them as parents, it comes out in ways that we could never imagine.  It comes out in laughter, a big sigh, a look of surprise, a hug, a smile, a ump! Or, it comes out in tears.  I know that I am guilty of several of these reactions, and the one that I am most proud of, is the fact that I have shed a tear for our son and for our daughter accomplishments, because it’s not expected.  My tears are frowned upon by society, because I am a man.  But I will gladly shed hundreds of tears for our son, or daughter, and our grandson, because I want to see them achieve the best that life has to offer.  I want to see them raise their hands in victory each time they cross a major threshold in their lives.  And while I may be cheering them with a big smile, there will be that small tear, right there in the corner of my eye, wishing them the very best of what life has to offer.

 

21.   To the parents of the graduating class of 2014, laugh, smile, cheer, and if you find yourself doing so, shed your tears, for a job well done.  You deserve it.  Best wishes to all, and congratulations the graduating class of 2014.

 

22.   Disclaimer:  The Coveted Commandment is copyrighted 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.  If you wish to have Wayne Lewis speak to your group, please email wdlewis8088@gmail.com or call 512-786-7959.  Not intended to legal or medical advice.  Please consult your respective professional for advice.  Information provided here is deemed to be from reliable sources by not guaranteed.

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[1] Big Boys Don’t Cry, Do They.  John Swartz December 30, 2010- http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/fashion/02Cultural.html?_r=2&

 

The Coveted Commandment: ROCKS BRICKS AND STICKS (C) 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

Gifts for the Graduating Class of 2014

© 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

We are in the middle of graduation season. Many of our graduates are going to be sent well-wishes. While we all wish them well, dare we challenge them in the gifts that we give them? I am sure that there are graduates who will receive hundreds, if not thousands of dollars in cash and gifts. Many of those gifts may include cars, jewelry, houses, saving bonds, CD’s, electronics and mementoes from parents, grandparents and friends. But, I would hope that if there were a special set of gifts we might consider, it would be either a rock, a brick or a stick. If just one of these were given, it would be great, but all three would be phenomenally great for any graduate of the Class of 2014.

Why would we give our new grad so basic a set of presents as a rock, a brick or a stick? Surely, it would pale in comparison to jewelry, electronics and no doubt, a NEEEEEW KARRRRR! (In my game show announcer’s voice). These are the expectations, and perhaps surprises that many of our graduates would be only too proud to claim from under the graduation tree, if it were. A rock, brick or stick, would definitely bring a surprised look, a false sense of appreciation, and a quick look of wonderment as to whether the giver was playing a joke, or had suffered a sudden case of dementia. None of these are to be ruled out, but nevertheless, it would be a gift, purposeful, but with a letter. What would that letter say?
It would probably say something to this effect:

Dearest graduate of 2014.
Please except this gift (rock, brick or stick) with my best wishes. I know that you will most likely receive far more desirable gifts, and that this one will hardly compare. But as you push this gift aside, note too that each of the gifts that you will receive, will, subsequently, be pushed aside as well. They will bring you momentary joy, and use in the manner in which you should be accustomed. But for a small amount of time their value will continue to decrease, and will eventually go out of style. You will most likely replace any number of your gifts with newer versions, perhaps more expensive models, for which you are entitled to do and richly deserve. This gift however, (rock, brick or stick), has no financial, or any real value. If you were to put it in your attic, or throw it in the back yard, it will still be a rock , stick or brick. The rock and brick will hold its shape for some years to come. The stick, it may become brittle if left in the weather for the elements to eat away at it. You may have to treat it with some type of protective paint. But here is the pitch, Graduate of the Class of 2014:

A rock lies on the bottom of many rivers. When water passes over the rocks, the water that passes over them becomes purified, and makes the water cleaner to drink. The brick can be used with other bricks to form foundations for homes, large buildings, or even make a fireplace. The stick can be used to make firewood, or used as a weapon to fight off wild animals. Or, the stick can be used to build a lean-to joined by leaves and strong vines while in the wild. As you graduate, know that whether it was a rock, brick or stick, each played a tremendous role in building your past. You may take for granted the fact that rocks are used in cement to make driveways and build roads, but they aren’t going anywhere for the foreseeable future. You may take for granted that bricks help to hold up some of the tallest buildings, but they do their jobs very well, and will continue to be a part of our lives. As for sticks, their value comes in at where we want them to. We can make a slingshot, a bow and arrow, or even a musical instrument. If it is sturdy enough, it may even make a good shovel, or can be whittled down to a spear, or small shovel. Please use wisely.
Sign XXXX.

Whatever you do with your gift is up to you. But know that it is not the thought that counts from the giver, but the thought that counts by the recipient. I don’t believe that many people will spend hours looking for a rock, brick or stick to give to today’s graduates. The average graduate would probably be highly insulted, even if they didn’t say so. But if they are the noble graduates that we know them to be, they will very easily look past the oddity of the gift, and see the practicality, and the potential value of either the rock, the brick or the stick.

The practicality of any or all of the gifts that would be a rock, brick or stick maybe lost on some graduates, if only for a moment. But it takes a strong mind to look past a gift that is not the usual, the expected, or the normal. Yes, cash is still the best gift of all, along with jewelry, clothes, a car or even a house. But let us not lose sight of why we want our graduates to succeed. We want them to succeed because they are now prepared to look past what is, and they are able to see what can be. To the average person, the rock, the brick or the stick is just a rock, brick or stick. To the outstanding achiever that we believe that every graduate is, the rock is the Empire State Building, the brick is the masonry for every home built in a new subdivision. As for the stick, it is that big piece of wood being pile driven deep into the earth to build new schools to educate our youth, or new factories to employ those of our respective communities. Seeing what can be is the true test for our graduates. And it is a test that they will surely pass, with flying colors.

To the graduating class of 2014, please accept your rock, your brick or your stick with all of the sincerest of appreciation and excitement that you can muster. See this moment for what it truly is, your turning point from student to practitioner. From observationist to applicationist. From questioner of facts to questioner of what can be. Congratulations to the Graduating Class of 2014, and enjoy all of your gifts.

Disclaimer: The Coveted Commandment © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr. Information provided here is deemed to be from reliable sources, but not guaranteed. If your group would like to have Wayne Lewis speak to them, email wdlewis8088@gmail.com or call 512-786-7959. Consult with your respective professional for advice.

The Coveted Commandment: IN! © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.

What Is Your Graduation Really About?

A Message to the Graduating Class of 2014 

1.       Quick!  What did you have for breakfast this morning? 

2.       If I know something about many of us, perhaps some of us, we did not have breakfast this morning.  Not a problem.  Then, what was the first thing you that you had to eat today?  Hopefully, by this time you have eaten something.  Keep that in mind, as I ask you the next question.

3.       What was the first form of communication you listened to today?  Was it a radio?  Was it your IPod?  Or, was it your television?  Whatever it was, please keep that mind as well as I ask you one other question.

4.       Where did you graduate from high school?

5.       Each question posed here was an effort to focus on the things and events that each of us are exposed to that goes not only into our bodies, but our minds as well.  If you have eaten breakfast, you may have had hot or cold cereal, or pancakes and sausage.  Or, maybe you had toast and coffee.

6.       When you decide to turn on some form of information to get your day started, you may turn on the news, the weather, or sports, using the television, or radio.  Perhaps, your first choice was to go on line and get the most up to date piece of information in order to get your day going.

7.       Last, but not least, where did you graduate from high school, was my final introductory question.  To that, I could say that you went to the same high school that your parents, brother or sister attended.  Or, maybe you went to a high school back home, or across town.  Some of you may have been home schooled.  Wherever you went to school, the point is, some form of education played a role in helping you develop into the great person that you are, and that you will continue to be.

 

8.       What Goes Into You?

9.       Many of us are formed by so many challenging influences that occur throughout our lives.  From breakfast, to supper, from what we listen to, to what we observe, something is being fed into us physically, or mentally.  For the things that eventually go into who we are, we become the people that we are, and as is apparent by your status as graduates of 2014, what has gone into you, has produced this fond moment. 

 

10.   What Will Go Into You From This Point?

11.   Surely, as you move from graduate into the world around you, the things that have brought you this far will continue to show themselves.  They may result in you loosing long-time friends, and gaining new ones.  What has gone into you prior to now, may show itself in terms of the jobs  and the promotions that you are able to get, or not get.   What is inside of you today, may determine who maybe the next city council member, the next governor, if not the next President of the United States.  As those things that are currently inside of you show themselves in various ways, the process of inputting does not stop, as you well know.

12.   From this point, you are subject to change up few things.  As a new graduate, you may now change the kind of music that you listen to.  You may now listen to news that you once rushed past on the radio dial.  And look at you, shined shoes, sober, and eating a half a dozen a doughnuts.  Some of these may not be relevant, but understand the analogy.  From this point in your life, things are going to change.  Many of the things that may have gone into you as you grew up,  were things that you had to allow to go into who you are.  Yes, you tolerated eating your “veggies” for mom.  You tolerated going to bed by 10p.m. and, getting home by midnight, so as not break curfew.  Those things were a part of what was programmed into you, and now, you are about to make a few changes, for the moment.

 

13.   For the Moment

14.   For the moment, you are going to go outside the lines.  You are not going to eat your “veggies” and no one can make you.  You are not going to go to the Catholic Church that you were raised in by your parents, but maybe to the Luthern Church where your “spoogie” goes to church.  Add to your radicalism the idea that now, you are never going to set foot in another school again, as long as you live…for the moment.

15.   Why do I say for the moment?  I’m glad you asked.  Without pointing out statistically my point, I want to focus on what it is like to be a parent.  As parents, we invest in our children.  As caring parents, we do everything legally, lawfully, and lovingly as possible to raise our children, particularly, in the eyes of God.  We feed our children, clothe them, bathe them up, send them off to school and to church.  While all of this seems simple enough, there are battles that parents are often subjected to, that most of us, who were children, are totally oblivious to going on.  Many of us as kids may have no idea how tough it was to get us into the “right schools”.  The “right schools” was matter of location, academic rating, racial make-up, or whether it was an all-boys, or all-girls schools.  This was just one of the many important decisions made by your  parents, that went into whom you would eventually become today.

16.   As parents, another set of battles would be with us as kids.  We would always fight with our parents on whether we could play with certain kids, or go to certain kids’ parties.  For all we knew, all kids were our friends.  Why would our parents not want us to go by Jerry’s house, or why wouldn’t our parents not want us to go to Mary’s house?  We would one day learn that our parents feared for our well-being because Jerry and Mary’s parents home seemed to always have people at their house that were of a questionable nature to what our parents were willing to accept.  It was our parent’s battle to win, for our benefit.

17.   Among the many things that our parents did for us, was set goals for us.  Why would they do that?  Why would our parents set goals for us?  Because many of us had no clue about what life was all about.  Many of us were content to just go through the motions of going to school, going to church, going to the parties, and learning things, that while we received a passing grade, had no idea of how important Algebra, Art, English, or History would be.  We had no idea why it was necessary to study the Alamo, or the British Invasion of America.  As far as were concerned, as kids, none of that would have a bearing on our lives, we just wanted to grow up, and get out of the house, into the big around us.  For many of us, growing up, we were filled with tunnel-vision, looking neither left nor right.  All we needed to do was graduate, and we would be free…. For the moment.

18.   As graduates, you are about to be released to do all of the things that you had hoped to do, once you graduate from school or college.  You will be adults.  No one, theoretically, will be able to tell you what to do.  For the moment.

 

19.   Reality Check!

20.   As parents, we would like to believe that what we have done for our kids is instill within the understanding of the world around them.  And while many of our kids are great kids, filled with the brightest ideas, the one thing that we can’t instill in our kids is that everyone does not roll over and make room for them, just because they have a degree, or a diploma.  Whatever we have done as parents, we haven’t failed, it’s just that when the gates are opened, and the day of our graduates are on their own, without having to adhere to all of the rules that have shaped their lives, a reality check occurs. 

a.       “I am on my own!”  “I’m freeeeee!” 

b.      “Mom, can I can borrow the car?”   “Dad, can you loan me a few dollars?”

 

21.   While many parents will try to invoke parental control, believing that they should try to tweak their new graduate, the battle begins again.  As new graduates, you are going to begin to learn everything about what has been instilled in you and why.

22.   For example, it will still be important for you to go to bed by 10 p.m., if you want to be to work on time the next morning.  As successful graduates, you will soon learn that the debts that you have acquired must be paid, by you, not your parents.  Debts such as your rent, which can’t be over 5 days late without a late fee of 5%.  Debts for all of those credit cards which appeared to be free, are coming due, and the life lessons begin.

 

23.   What are you going to do in the meantime?

24.   As you move from the moment of graduates, you may find yourselves confronting the community in which you decide to live.  You may question why they allow loud music throughout the night?  You may find yourselves confronting the laws that allow the speed limits that don’t control big trucks on your street.  Eventually, you may find that some of the things that you are including in your lives, are some of the same things that you may recall your parents dealt with.  And the weird thing could be, you are not even a parent, yet.

25.   Fast-forward, and you may find that it is necessary to have a good breakfast.  You may stop at the fast-food place occasionally, but eventually, you eventually decide to prepare food that you actually brought from the grocery.  You may also decide to go back to the church that you grew up in.  And remember when you promised to never set foot in a school again?   But all of that may pale in comparison to the one thing that your parents instilled within you.  They radicalized you.  What is Parental Radicalization?

 

26.   Parental Radicalization

27.   Obviously when we use the word radical[1], we assume the worst.  Of the many references there are to the definition, the one that applies in this case is as follows:

a.      favoring extreme changes in existing views, habits, conditions or institutions;

28.   How does this compare to what your parents have done for you?  From the moment you were born, your parents were very often fighting institutions, or conditions that could have had the worst possible influences on you.  They were questioning doctors, insurance companies and schools systems.  They were fighting family members who wanted to see them raise you their way.  Your parents were always on guard for those who seemed to know more than your parents on how they ought to raise you.  Were your parents always right?  Not necessarily, but that didn’t necessarily make them wrong as long as they loved and protected you from dangers, big and small.   Your parents resisted the idea of allowing you to be raised below the standards that you were well suited for.

29.   It was your parents who fought for you, as well as over you, to make sure that you were protected from strangers, politics, and institutions that were ready to inoculate you with influences that conflicted with their values.  By your parents’ radical positions on how to not only raise you, but also instill in you how to fight and stand for yourself, you were radicalized.  However slight they did it, you were also radicalized to stand and fight for others.  You were radicalize to give to those less fortunate than yourself.  You were radicalized to not to quit when things got hard.  You were radicalized to think for yourself.   Think about it.  Have you not been at a point where you stood for something greater than yourself, because you believed that it was unfair?  If you haven’t done so, don’t worry, it is still early.   Your parents have already laid the groundwork for you to stand up not only for yourself, but for others as well.  How did your parents radicalize you?

30.   To answer how your parents radicalize you, maybe easier for you to answer than myself.  But I am going to guess that your parents may have radicalized you when they allowed the tooth fairy to put a dollar under your pillow.  Your parents may have radicalized you when they allowed Santa Claus in to put your presents under the tree.  Or, maybe, and this is just a guess, your parents radicalized you, graduates of 2014, when you they reminded you time and time again, of the value of education, even when you may have not seen the benefit of going to school, day in and day out.  Your parental radicalization may have occurred when you were told to eat all of your “veggies” so you can be healthy.   How you were radicalized may be less important than the fact that you were radicalize. 

31.   How will you know when your parents have successfully radicalized you?   

32.   First of all, I understand if you want to use a different term other than Parental Radicalization.  But if you did, then you may fail to understand why your parents did all that they did to get you to this point in your life.  You should embrace your parents’ unselfish attempt at preparing you to be the success that you have become.  They instilled within you something as simple as to brush your teeth, and to wash behind your ears, because your smile and personal appearance are extremely important when meeting others and/or getting a job.  They instilled within you a work ethic so that you could take care of yourself and your family.  Your parents, like their parents, answered the call to be the best parents by being, in what appeared to be all the time, the worst parents.  They did not allow you to always have your way.  Their radicalization included punishing you because you either failed to understand, or refused to understand why it was wrong to steal, to lie, or to disrespect authority.

33.   And speaking of authority, last but not least, inside of you, is the ability to challenge authority without being disrespectful.  Inside of you is a radical enzyme, instilled by your parents.  It is there in the event there is a time in your life, that something is not right, that you can articulate what the problem is, what the solution is, and what is the next plan of action.  Today, you have within you the ability to not only be a great citizen, but a great person, via parental radicalization.

34.   Inside of you, because of your parents’ radicalization process, passed on to them by their parents, you are prepared to be a well-balanced warrior for change.  Because of your parents, you are prepared to be a team player for peace, for progress, and if necessary, for war.

35.   Inside of you are all of the years your parents’ politics, music, their appreciation of sports, and how they handled many of the greatest challenges of their lives, all in an effort to bring you to this point in your life.  So, I ask you, what is your graduation really about?

36.   It is about everything that is inside of you, either put there, or allowed there by those who have loved you from the very beginning.  Your graduation is about the parents who stood by you, stood for you, and stand for you now, as graduates of the class of 2014.

37.   Out

38.   Now, as you prepare to go out into the world, all of that which has been instilled into you has a chance to come out.  The answer remains to be seen as to how all of those hours of you resisting your parents’ input, or maybe on those few occasions, working with your parents, to produce the wonderful person that you are today, what will come out of you?  How radicalized are you? 

39.   As parents, we generally have an unwritten wish list.  It quite extensive.  But it bottoms out to these few simple things:

40.   That you work hard, that you treat others as you wish to be treated, and that you always wear clean underwear.  Okay, it is more complicated than that.  Our wish list, as parents is that you remember all of the things that we taught you in order to become the best person that you can be.  We as parents, wish you the very best that life has to offer, and may you always be successful in all that you do and pursue.  That’s all we can ask, and can only hope that we did the very best job of instilling within you, our children, values, morals and respect not only for others, but for yourselves.

41.   To the graduating class of 2014, it has been my pleasure to address you as you move on into your new lives, radicalized, instilled, and prepared for the best that life has to offer. 

 

42.   Disclaimer:  Information shared on the Coveted Commandment blog is deemed to be from reliable sources, but not guaranteed.   Consult with your respective professional for counseling.  The Coveted Commandment Blog and the Coveted Commandment © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis Sr.   If you are looking for a speaker for your group or meetings, please contact Wayne Lewis at wdlewis8088@gmail.com .  Or, 512-786-7959

 

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[1] Radical definition- http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/radical