Sunday, May 4, 2014

The Coveted Commandment: IN! © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis, Sr.


What Is Your Graduation Really About?

A Message to the Graduating Class of 2014 

1.       Quick!  What did you have for breakfast this morning? 

2.       If I know something about many of us, perhaps some of us, we did not have breakfast this morning.  Not a problem.  Then, what was the first thing you that you had to eat today?  Hopefully, by this time you have eaten something.  Keep that in mind, as I ask you the next question.

3.       What was the first form of communication you listened to today?  Was it a radio?  Was it your IPod?  Or, was it your television?  Whatever it was, please keep that mind as well as I ask you one other question.

4.       Where did you graduate from high school?

5.       Each question posed here was an effort to focus on the things and events that each of us are exposed to that goes not only into our bodies, but our minds as well.  If you have eaten breakfast, you may have had hot or cold cereal, or pancakes and sausage.  Or, maybe you had toast and coffee.

6.       When you decide to turn on some form of information to get your day started, you may turn on the news, the weather, or sports, using the television, or radio.  Perhaps, your first choice was to go on line and get the most up to date piece of information in order to get your day going.

7.       Last, but not least, where did you graduate from high school, was my final introductory question.  To that, I could say that you went to the same high school that your parents, brother or sister attended.  Or, maybe you went to a high school back home, or across town.  Some of you may have been home schooled.  Wherever you went to school, the point is, some form of education played a role in helping you develop into the great person that you are, and that you will continue to be.

 

8.       What Goes Into You?
9.       Many of us are formed by so many challenging influences that occur throughout our lives.  From breakfast, to supper, from what we listen to, to what we observe, something is being fed into us physically, or mentally.  For the things that eventually go into who we are, we become the people that we are, and as is apparent by your status as graduates of 2014, what has gone into you, has produced this fond moment. 

 

10.   What Will Go Into You From This Point?
11.   Surely, as you move from graduate into the world around you, the things that have brought you this far will continue to show themselves.  They may result in you loosing long-time friends, and gaining new ones.  What has gone into you prior to now, may show itself in terms of the jobs  and the promotions that you are able to get, or not get.   What is inside of you today, may determine who maybe the next city council member, the next governor, if not the next President of the United States.  As those things that are currently inside of you show themselves in various ways, the process of inputting does not stop, as you well know.

12.   From this point, you are subject to change up few things.  As a new graduate, you may now change the kind of music that you listen to.  You may now listen to news that you once rushed past on the radio dial.  And look at you, shined shoes, sober, and eating a half a dozen a doughnuts.  Some of these may not be relevant, but understand the analogy.  From this point in your life, things are going to change.  Many of the things that may have gone into you as you grew up,  were things that you had to allow to go into who you are.  Yes, you tolerated eating your “veggies” for mom.  You tolerated going to bed by 10p.m. and, getting home by midnight, so as not break curfew.  Those things were a part of what was programmed into you, and now, you are about to make a few changes, for the moment.

 

13.   For the Moment
14.   For the moment, you are going to go outside the lines.  You are not going to eat your “veggies” and no one can make you.  You are not going to go to the Catholic Church that you were raised in by your parents, but maybe to the Luthern Church where your “spoogie” goes to church.  Add to your radicalism the idea that now, you are never going to set foot in another school again, as long as you live…for the moment.

15.   Why do I say for the moment?  I’m glad you asked.  Without pointing out statistically my point, I want to focus on what it is like to be a parent.  As parents, we invest in our children.  As caring parents, we do everything legally, lawfully, and lovingly as possible to raise our children, particularly, in the eyes of God.  We feed our children, clothe them, bathe them up, send them off to school and to church.  While all of this seems simple enough, there are battles that parents are often subjected to, that most of us, who were children, are totally oblivious to going on.  Many of us as kids may have no idea how tough it was to get us into the “right schools”.  The “right schools” was matter of location, academic rating, racial make-up, or whether it was an all-boys, or all-girls schools.  This was just one of the many important decisions made by your  parents, that went into whom you would eventually become today.

16.   As parents, another set of battles would be with us as kids.  We would always fight with our parents on whether we could play with certain kids, or go to certain kids’ parties.  For all we knew, all kids were our friends.  Why would our parents not want us to go by Jerry’s house, or why wouldn’t our parents not want us to go to Mary’s house?  We would one day learn that our parents feared for our well-being because Jerry and Mary’s parents home seemed to always have people at their house that were of a questionable nature to what our parents were willing to accept.  It was our parent’s battle to win, for our benefit.

17.   Among the many things that our parents did for us, was set goals for us.  Why would they do that?  Why would our parents set goals for us?  Because many of us had no clue about what life was all about.  Many of us were content to just go through the motions of going to school, going to church, going to the parties, and learning things, that while we received a passing grade, had no idea of how important Algebra, Art, English, or History would be.  We had no idea why it was necessary to study the Alamo, or the British Invasion of America.  As far as were concerned, as kids, none of that would have a bearing on our lives, we just wanted to grow up, and get out of the house, into the big around us.  For many of us, growing up, we were filled with tunnel-vision, looking neither left nor right.  All we needed to do was graduate, and we would be free…. For the moment.

18.   As graduates, you are about to be released to do all of the things that you had hoped to do, once you graduate from school or college.  You will be adults.  No one, theoretically, will be able to tell you what to do.  For the moment.

 

19.   Reality Check!
20.   As parents, we would like to believe that what we have done for our kids is instill within the understanding of the world around them.  And while many of our kids are great kids, filled with the brightest ideas, the one thing that we can’t instill in our kids is that everyone does not roll over and make room for them, just because they have a degree, or a diploma.  Whatever we have done as parents, we haven’t failed, it’s just that when the gates are opened, and the day of our graduates are on their own, without having to adhere to all of the rules that have shaped their lives, a reality check occurs. 

a.       “I am on my own!”  “I’m freeeeee!” 

b.      “Mom, can I can borrow the car?”   “Dad, can you loan me a few dollars?”
 
21.   While many parents will try to invoke parental control, believing that they should try to tweak their new graduate, the battle begins again.  As new graduates, you are going to begin to learn everything about what has been instilled in you and why.

22.   For example, it will still be important for you to go to bed by 10 p.m., if you want to be to work on time the next morning.  As successful graduates, you will soon learn that the debts that you have acquired must be paid, by you, not your parents.  Debts such as your rent, which can’t be over 5 days late without a late fee of 5%.  Debts for all of those credit cards which appeared to be free, are coming due, and the life lessons begin.

 

23.   What are you going to do in the meantime?
24.   As you move from the moment of graduates, you may find yourselves confronting the community in which you decide to live.  You may question why they allow loud music throughout the night?  You may find yourselves confronting the laws that allow the speed limits that don’t control big trucks on your street.  Eventually, you may find that some of the things that you are including in your lives, are some of the same things that you may recall your parents dealt with.  And the weird thing could be, you are not even a parent, yet.

25.   Fast-forward, and you may find that it is necessary to have a good breakfast.  You may stop at the fast-food place occasionally, but eventually, you eventually decide to prepare food that you actually brought from the grocery.  You may also decide to go back to the church that you grew up in.  And remember when you promised to never set foot in a school again?   But all of that may pale in comparison to the one thing that your parents instilled within you.  They radicalized you.  What is Parental Radicalization?

 
26.   Parental Radicalization
27.   Obviously when we use the word radical[1], we assume the worst.  Of the many references there are to the definition, the one that applies in this case is as follows:

a.      favoring extreme changes in existing views, habits, conditions or institutions;

28.   How does this compare to what your parents have done for you?  From the moment you were born, your parents were very often fighting institutions, or conditions that could have had the worst possible influences on you.  They were questioning doctors, insurance companies and schools systems.  They were fighting family members who wanted to see them raise you their way.  Your parents were always on guard for those who seemed to know more than your parents on how they ought to raise you.  Were your parents always right?  Not necessarily, but that didn’t necessarily make them wrong as long as they loved and protected you from dangers, big and small.   Your parents resisted the idea of allowing you to be raised below the standards that you were well suited for.

29.   It was your parents who fought for you, as well as over you, to make sure that you were protected from strangers, politics, and institutions that were ready to inoculate you with influences that conflicted with their values.  By your parents’ radical positions on how to not only raise you, but also instill in you how to fight and stand for yourself, you were radicalized.  However slight they did it, you were also radicalized to stand and fight for others.  You were radicalize to give to those less fortunate than yourself.  You were radicalized to not to quit when things got hard.  You were radicalized to think for yourself.   Think about it.  Have you not been at a point where you stood for something greater than yourself, because you believed that it was unfair?  If you haven’t done so, don’t worry, it is still early.   Your parents have already laid the groundwork for you to stand up not only for yourself, but for others as well.  How did your parents radicalize you?

30.   To answer how your parents radicalize you, maybe easier for you to answer than myself.  But I am going to guess that your parents may have radicalized you when they allowed the tooth fairy to put a dollar under your pillow.  Your parents may have radicalized you when they allowed Santa Claus in to put your presents under the tree.  Or, maybe, and this is just a guess, your parents radicalized you, graduates of 2014, when you they reminded you time and time again, of the value of education, even when you may have not seen the benefit of going to school, day in and day out.  Your parental radicalization may have occurred when you were told to eat all of your “veggies” so you can be healthy.   How you were radicalized may be less important than the fact that you were radicalize. 

31.   How will you know when your parents have successfully radicalized you?   
32.   First of all, I understand if you want to use a different term other than Parental Radicalization.  But if you did, then you may fail to understand why your parents did all that they did to get you to this point in your life.  You should embrace your parents’ unselfish attempt at preparing you to be the success that you have become.  They instilled within you something as simple as to brush your teeth, and to wash behind your ears, because your smile and personal appearance are extremely important when meeting others and/or getting a job.  They instilled within you a work ethic so that you could take care of yourself and your family.  Your parents, like their parents, answered the call to be the best parents by being, in what appeared to be all the time, the worst parents.  They did not allow you to always have your way.  Their radicalization included punishing you because you either failed to understand, or refused to understand why it was wrong to steal, to lie, or to disrespect authority.

33.   And speaking of authority, last but not least, inside of you, is the ability to challenge authority without being disrespectful.  Inside of you is a radical enzyme, instilled by your parents.  It is there in the event there is a time in your life, that something is not right, that you can articulate what the problem is, what the solution is, and what is the next plan of action.  Today, you have within you the ability to not only be a great citizen, but a great person, via parental radicalization.

34.   Inside of you, because of your parents’ radicalization process, passed on to them by their parents, you are prepared to be a well-balanced warrior for change.  Because of your parents, you are prepared to be a team player for peace, for progress, and if necessary, for war.

35.   Inside of you are all of the years your parents’ politics, music, their appreciation of sports, and how they handled many of the greatest challenges of their lives, all in an effort to bring you to this point in your life.  So, I ask you, what is your graduation really about?

36.   It is about everything that is inside of you, either put there, or allowed there by those who have loved you from the very beginning.  Your graduation is about the parents who stood by you, stood for you, and stand for you now, as graduates of the class of 2014.

37.   Out
38.   Now, as you prepare to go out into the world, all of that which has been instilled into you has a chance to come out.  The answer remains to be seen as to how all of those hours of you resisting your parents’ input, or maybe on those few occasions, working with your parents, to produce the wonderful person that you are today, what will come out of you?  How radicalized are you? 

39.   As parents, we generally have an unwritten wish list.  It quite extensive.  But it bottoms out to these few simple things:

40.   That you work hard, that you treat others as you wish to be treated, and that you always wear clean underwear.  Okay, it is more complicated than that.  Our wish list, as parents is that you remember all of the things that we taught you in order to become the best person that you can be.  We as parents, wish you the very best that life has to offer, and may you always be successful in all that you do and pursue.  That’s all we can ask, and can only hope that we did the very best job of instilling within you, our children, values, morals and respect not only for others, but for yourselves.

41.   To the graduating class of 2014, it has been my pleasure to address you as you move on into your new lives, radicalized, instilled, and prepared for the best that life has to offer. 

 

42.   Disclaimer:  Information shared on the Coveted Commandment blog is deemed to be from reliable sources, but not guaranteed.   Consult with your respective professional for counseling.  The Coveted Commandment Blog and the Coveted Commandment © 2014 by Wayne Dan Lewis Sr.   If you are looking for a speaker for your group or meetings, please contact Wayne Lewis at wdlewis8088@gmail.com .  Or, 512-786-7959

 


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